From: Friends and Family
To: Anyone with an email account that I have in my contacts
Subject: FW: FW: FW: FW: Be Careful Where You Have Your Baby! OPEN IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!
To Whom it May Concern,
It has recently come to the attention of my colleagues and I, (you may have seen this on the news already) that there has been some atrocious activity going on at hospitals throughout our once great land. It seems to be that some doctors, in an attempt to push an atheistic or agnostic belief system, have been tatooing derisive propaganda on to newborn babies. There are two new tatoos circulating among infants of Christian parents:
1) A woman walking past a baptist church. (Atheist)
2) This one is in the form of a three-panel comic strip. 1st panel: Two men (presumably homosexual, though it's unclear on the tatoo) looking at a menu on a wall of a restaurant. Instead of food names, Christian denominations are listed. The men gaze contemplatively at this, their brows are furrowed, their hands holding up their chins like "The Thinker". 2nd panel: The two men turn to each other and shrug. 3rd panel: They exit the restaurant (my guess is they're leaving to see Cirque De Soleil or some such). (Agnostic)
These two tatoos have been turning up on the babies of Christian parents all throughout the country, and though one is a comic strip much like "The Family Circus", this is no laughing matter.
So take a moment friends, and ask your OBGYN who he or (Heaven forbid) she voted for. If they get all evasive and stuff and say, "That's personal", you can bet they voted for Barack HUSSEIN Obama. Simply collect your things, politely tell them you'll pray for them, and exit. Repeat this until you find a sensible doctor who makes wise decisions on election day. This will guarantee you an inkless newborn.
LET'S TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK, ONE TATOO-FREE MIRACLE AT A TIME!!!!!!!!
Forward this to 5 people: God will provide for you a chimichanga.
Forward this to 15 people: Instant entry into Heaven, provided you pay a 10 dollar cover charge.
Forward this to 30 or more people: V.I.P. section of eternity! Including front-row seats for Moses and Methuselah's two-man show. They've been honing this act for a LONG time, trust me, it's good. If you like two old dudes in blackface, you'll love this act!
Palin/Beck '12.
Haha this is good stuff. Did you write it yourself? The only way I know it's not real is because of the last 3 paragraphs. Otherwise completely believable.
ReplyDeleteI did indeed write it. I get emails like this ALL THE TIME. I tried to make it as silly as possible, but people have still been asking me if it was an actual email. Those emails are so ridiculous, that this, while an extreme example, could be somewhat believed to be authentic.
ReplyDeletelol niiice. I had no idea this blog existed...way to keep a sister in the know!
ReplyDeletestill listen to "Spaceship" on a weekly basis. and yes, the lyrics are completely nonsensical. I think one of my favorite lines would be:
"a spaceship landing on the water/it was a holiday for the underpaid/everybody got a haircut and lemonade/and they smiled just like it was their father" I sing along every time.
didn't see the Kanye appearance on Leno...he probably was sincere. From this incident and previous behavior, I gather he was raised believing he was entitled to do whatever he wanted...so I guess maybe he is learning.